Complete Guide to Thai Men: The Good, the Bad, and the Gik
Thai men are interesting and exotic, but generally a complete mystery to people coming from Western countries. But today, I’m here to help you learn everything about them.
So if you’re curious about what Thai men are like, are considering starting a relationship with one (or already in one), after reading this article, you will know all their secrets: the good, the bad, and everything in between.
Quick Summary
Just like women in Thailand who are also special, men in Thailand are unique. They are charming, polite, and very gentle. They also have a great sense of humor and are always up for a good time. And despite their gentleness, they’re extremely protective of their families and loved ones.
At the same time, Thai men can be very jealous and possessive – which is a bit of a paradox, having in mind that if they cheat or are not loyal it’s not a big deal (in their opinion, at least).
They’re known to be pretty controlling in a relationship, and sometimes they’re not the most easygoing guys in the world. I would say that being in a relationship with a man in Thailand can sometimes be described like riding a roller coaster.
Let’s get a bit more in depth now and see why I say that.
What to expect when dating a Thai man
When it comes to dating Thai men, there are a few things you should know, especially if you’re not familiar with Thai culture.
Most Thai men are traditional in their approach to relationships. They’re not as direct as Westerners and tend to be more polite and reserved, which can make them appear shy, even if that’s not truly the case – or at least not always.
Even as the relationship progresses, many will find it difficult to openly express their feelings, whether positive or negative. At the same time, they won’t mind if you take the lead, even though they can be quite possessive.
He’ll likely want marriage over a casual, long-term relationship and may expect children soon after you say “yes.”
Of course, some Thai men are more modern and relaxed about dating. Don’t be surprised to meet a man who is confident, open about his feelings, and willing to take the lead – including showing interest in a short-term relationship or fling.
Another thing you should know about dating Thai men is that they are very romantic – and this is exacerbated by their apparent shyness. So expect men in Thailand to be charming and attentive, always trying to make you feel good and giving you small gifts and such.
They usually like to take you on romantic dates and make sure that everything is just perfect for you. It’s a nice culture and definitely a change from the “me first” culture we see more and more in the West.
Public displays of affection aren’t common in Thailand, but that doesn’t mean the men here dislike physical affection. On the contrary! It’s just that they’re more private and usually wait until the relationship is serious before expressing their love.
As time goes on, they may seem less attentive or even distracted. This doesn’t necessary mean they’ve lost interest – it’s just their way of showing trust and comfort in the relationship.
Also read about Naka Cave in Thailand here.
Thai male beauty standards
Men from Thailand are known for their good looks, but there is more to them than meets the eye, as you’ve seen in the section above.
When it comes to looks, Thai men prefer a simple and understated style. They tend to avoid flashy hairstyles and makeup, choosing instead to dress conservatively and prioritize comfort. Flip flops are also extremely common, like it or not – they’re perfect in Thailand’s hot climate.
So don’t get offended if he arrives at the third date wearing flip flops. Maybe even the first!
Apart from the flip flops, which seem like the “must-have” accessory in Thailand, the most popular style among men here is the “dad look,” I would say. This means that they will typically wear loose-fitting clothes that are more comfortable than good looking. It’s all about comfort in Thailand, even though the men won’t shy away from stronger colors. Most keep their hair short and are usually clean-shaven.
On the other hand, we have the “bad boy” look – the polar opposite of the dad look, but also pretty common, especially with the younger generations. These men pay extra attention to their appearance, dressing in a modern, movie-inspired way. They tend to be more open-minded and liberal in relationships, too.
There’s a lot of variety, but overall, the dad look dominates. You might be surprised, but it grows on you!
Physical fitness is also valued, but not in an extreme way. Most Thai men prefer being slim and healthy over looking overly muscular. You’ll rarely see gym-obsessed body types, but you will notice a focus on health, especially in younger generations.
Their personality
I have already touched on this in the opening paragraph, but I want to get a bit more in depth now. And do remember that these are some general considerations – there can and will be exceptions.
Thai men are generally considered charming and charismatic, despite a somewhat shy nature and extreme politeness. They also have a strong sense of family and tradition, always ready to put in all the extra work needed for the well-being of their family.
Overall, Thai men are known for being hard-working and driven and even though Thailand has a low cost of living and salaries can be modest, the men here keep hustling and don’t give up easily.
But it’s not all without trouble in paradise. Thai men are usually possessive and can become really jealous. They want to make sure that they are the center of your attention and will rarely appreciate or even allow you to flirt with other men. Which is not necessarily bad.
What is bad is the Gik thing. We’ll talk a bit more in depth about it below, but the general rule of thumb is that they are completely against you interacting with other men, but they consider it somewhat natural to cheat. This is what I call the paradox of men in Thailand.
However, this proves that they are interested in keeping their woman safe and happy – but also theirs alone.
As you can see, Thai men are complex and unique individuals who can be both charming and demanding. They are truly worth all the trouble, though!
The Gik issue: Thai Men Cheating
While it is true that some Thai men do cheat on their partners, many Thai men aree faithful and loyal and would never consider cheating. That may sound like anywhere else in the world, but there’s a unique cultural twist.
First, I have to say that it’s difficult to put all Thai men in one bucket and generalize, but we have to do it for the sake of this article.
Because it is in Thailand where they have the concept of gik, which is basically the Thai word for “friends with benefits”.
Gik is not considered cheating – by many men there at least – in the same way that it is in the West, and many see nothing wrong with having a gik.
In fact, some Thai men believe that having a gik is actually good for their marriage. Well, of course, they need an excuse!
This is not to say that all Thai men cheat, but it is important to understand the cultural context in which infidelity is viewed and be prepared for that.
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If you want to try a different route, it might be a good idea to try and talk about the “gik” issue during the first few dates to see what their opinion is on the matter.
They usually don’t lie about this, so you can be prepared and if you don’t like their answer, look for another man.
It’s also worth noting that the idea of ‘gik’ is more common in certain circles and age groups, especially among younger men in urban areas. In rural communities, attitudes may be more conservative, with a stronger focus on traditional monogamy.
Common Stereotypes and Myths about Them
Like people everywhere, Thai men are subject to stereotypes, many of which are at least a bit unfair or even outright false.
For example, not all Thai men are “playboys” or constantly seeking a gik. Many value monogamy and take relationships very seriously.
There’s also a misconception that Thai men only date foreigners for financial reasons. While this may happen in isolated cases, most Thai men seek genuine connections and aren’t driven by money or status.
Another myth is that all Thai men are submissive or overly traditional. In reality, you’ll find a wide range of personalities, and might be surprised to find out that at least some can get pretty controlling and possessive. As with any country, it’s best to get to know the individual rather than rely on generalizations.
Where to meet men in Thailand (as a foreigner)
Being such a large and beautiful country, there is no shortage of places to meet men in Thailand. You can basically find your dream man anywhere in the country.
However, I would say that the best place to start your search is in the capital city of Bangkok. Bangkok is a really lively city with plenty of entertainment options and venues… and especially more modern thinking men.
If you’re looking for a more laid-back experience, the island of Phuket is a great place to meet Thai men. There, you’ll find a more relaxed atmosphere, but also men that are used to meeting foreigners since it is a popular destination.
Another great city for meeting Thai men is Chiang Mai. This is the current digital nomad hub, so expect plenty of foreigners there and a more Westernized culture.
In these cities, the best places to meet men are pubs and clubs. Also, be sure to check out the internet for dating sites that cater specifically to foreigners or hit on the general apps like Tinder, which is really popular in Thailand.
Alternatively, you can check out my article about the best dating website in Thailand and start there.
As a foreigner, you’ll usually be considered exotic and should have no trouble attracting interest from locals wherever you are in Thailand.
Just make sure that, when real-life interaction is involved, to give clear signals that you are interested, otherwise they might be too shy to approach you. Or just go ahead and make the first step yourself!
How to tell if a Thai man is interested in you
Thai men can be a bit difficult to read, but there are some telltale signs that he is interested in you.
I’ve said it a million times already: many men here are shy and it will usually take them a bit before making a move – if they ever do that, so a bit of a “nudge” from you can help.
First, he will likely try to make eye contact and smile at you. This is not necessarily a sign that he’s into you, because everybody is smiling in Thailand.
But if he goes the extra mile and tries to engage you in conversation, being close to you when talking and “accidentally” touching you (nothing inappropriate), it’s a good sign that he’s into you.
I would say that the best approach here is to give him clear signals – he’ll pick up on them and hopefully make a move soon.
Conclusion
To wrap things up, if you’re looking for a good man to settle down with, even though he’s not perfect (nobody is), it’s important to understand the cultural differences and embrace them while in the country.
While they might seem difficult to read at first because of their shyness and politeness, Thai men can be very rewarding in a relationship.
Just remember to be open with him and discuss the potential “Gik” issue to know where he stands on the matter.
Do you have anything else to add to this guide about men in Thailand? Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences below. And if you want to get more into the culture part, I recommend reading about the Dress Code for Visiting Thailand’s Temples.
