Dating Danish men is often considered by girls and women alike a dream come true. Sure, like anything in the world, they’re not perfect – but we’ll talk about everything about men in Denmark in today’s article.
Ranked as one of the top countries in the World Happiness Index, Denmark is home to the mysterious and attractive men of Scandinavian descent. Danish men may seem elusive and some might peg them as difficult to get along with.
But a deeper understanding of their culture, inherent traits, and general preferences will shatter this initial impression proving that Danes are amicable and easy to get along with.
Let’s take a look at the unique nuances that will make dating a Danish man a surprisingly refreshing experience!
General Characteristics of Danish Men
It’s all about their looks!
Of course, the first thing that catches your eye when it comes to men in Denmark is the viking-like build.
Walking down the streets or people watching while in a club will usually make you feel like you’re in a place full of Thor wannabes: tall, muscular people, with perfect facial features and that blond hair that you rarely see elsewhere in the world.
Danes are definitely eye candy and they know it. They also do their best to keep in shape – but usually prefer the same from their partners. Of course, you don’t have to be a gym fanatic to score a great looking Dane, but it definitely helps.
They eat healthy, they exercise, they have amazing constitutions and score triple As from top to the bottom of their trunks. Yup, I said that!
Gender Equality Rules!
Denmark is a country that prides itself on upholding equal opportunities and treatment of all genders. Taking a cue from this, Danish women are known for their independence.
This is what Danish men are used to. They don’t want to offend the ladies by being too forward or doing things that would undermine their self-reliance.
This would mean that they are not inclined to be chivalrous. So, if you expect someone to open doors for you, bring your packages and shopping, or offer to hold up the umbrella when it’s raining, then you may be in for a disappointment!
In general, Danes are used to their mothers and sisters doing tasks by themselves and they expect their partners to do the same.
Now, here’s a clincher for many. If you are serious with dating a Danish man, you must be ready to split the bill. Yes, this is common practice – even on the first date!
Don’t feel insulted or think your date is being cheap. This is simply how they roll. Make sure you shelve the shocked look when he tells you how much your share of the meal is.
Be ready to whip out your wallet and don’t make a fuss about it – this is how things go in Denmark, and nothing is rotten here!
Laid-Back in Pursuit
Being passive is something that Danish men are known for. They usually keep to themselves and seldom approach a stranger sporadically, no matter how attractive.
In Denmark, both men and women usually keep to the cliques and groups that they came to the club with.
This makes them seem anti-social a bit, but it’s not exactly that. They have a group of friends that slowly expands and contracts as time goes by and things are working great like that.
This is another reason why many of the people in Denmark prefer heading over to a dating site or meeting people online. Here are the best in Scandinavia – perfect for searching your partner, no matter if you’re looking for a man or woman.
Laid-Back in Relationships
Men in Denmark are not very forward and expressive as other cultures are. Danish men are used to being asked out and propositioned by women without labeling them as aggressive.
If you’re a hopeless romantic, you might get despondent. There will be a lesser chance of declarations of endless love, chocolates, and roses on significant dates, or sweet nothings in between.
However, this doesn’t meant that they don’t fully dedicate to relationships. Danish men can be extremely loyal and perfect for building a family with, it’s just that they’re having a tougher time showing it.
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Moderation is Key
You must notice how Danes dress in simple, yet elegant and classic ensembles. They do not feel the need to overly impress outwardly. The Danish belong to one of the top happiest cultures in the world.
This stems from economic prosperity, a high level of education, and the absence of gender roles.
That said, Danish men are not impressed by affluence or being a fashionista. Their level of attraction is on a higher plane. They do not go for the trivial.
They are impressed more with intelligence, a good conversationalist, shared knowledge than putting up a façade like a ton of makeup, and wearing flamboyant or uncomfortable attractive clothing.
No matter how pretty your toes look in those painful stilettos, don’t expect to get a compliment from your Danish date. They are more practical than vain. So keep it simple.
They do appreciate a woman that takes care of her body, that’s a fact – although physical appearance won’t be a decisive factor when it comes to choosing their partner.
Punctuality is Holy
Extremely punctual. Time is gold and being fashionably late is a no-no. Nothing irks a man from Denmark more than an unapologetically late arrival.
A Sticker for the Rules
A Danish man at work is a man at work. If you want to get to know him better, wait until the off-hours. He might get uncomfortable with chit chat and flirting while on the job. They keep pleasantries to a minimum and get to the job at hand.
They are sticklers of rules as well, so if you are a habitual rule-bender and law-offender (too many parking tickets and expired permits, for example) then you are a walking turn-off for a Danish man.
Don’t even try to jostle your way up a queue – this is an ultimate no-no that will make your date think twice about seeing you again.
Offensive jokes and sarcastic remarks – they just don’t take it personally. Sarcasm is a form of flirting for many Danish men and they might sometimes seem misogynistic (which they are usually not).
They expect you to correct their opinion in a civilized manner if they are wrong. Don’t let it get under your skin – it’s just the way they are.
If you love tossing smart barbs and roasting your mates, you might find a loquacious match in a Danish man and they will appreciate you even more!
Janteloven (The Law of Jante)
Men in Denmark are often uncomfortable talking about their accomplishments.
When someone starts to praise them effusively, they tend to downplay their achievements and give credit to “the team” that they belong despite it being clearly a solo effort.
This stems from “Janteloven” which is a cultural thing in Denmark where the individual’s capacity is always inferior to the collective effort.
A Dane will always acknowledge and give credit to other people, circumstance, or even luck. Don’t be turned off and misinterpreting it as false humility. They are just awkward with praise for doing their best.
It’s better than having a guy who boasts about things he hasn’t done, in my opinion. At least you don’t get the disappointments you do from somebody who promises to break the bed, but barely ruffles the sheets by the time it’s all over.
Patriots to the Core
As you get closer to your Danish beau, you will find the Dannebrog flag in many unlikely places and perhaps at every possible opportunity.
Yes! They will have them painted on their faces and printed on gift tags. Little replicas of their flag are stuck on cakes of any occasion, hung as ornaments on Christmas trees, displayed on their workspace, used as a screensaver – name it, someone a Dane will manage to find a way to display their national colors on it!
They are not being inordinately nationalistic or clannish – they simply love their flag! Do avoid smart-aleck comments and snide remarks about this habit.
But also rest assured that they have nothing against dating women from other countries – no matter how far or close.
Many of them also consider the olive-skinned girls more exotic and appealing and these ladies will always have an advantage. So we could say that they are pretty much like Swedish men in this area…
Trust Comes First
If you ask a personal favor on the first few dates, you might turn your Danish partner off. The implicit trust you see among Danes is not naivety. It is a result of a good deal of time building solid trust with one another that it becomes as simple as taking the other’s word for it.
These relationships and connections build confidence. This includes a positive experience with the individual over time particularly in keeping your word – whether it be as little tiny casual promises, coming on-time, as well as bigger commitments.
Given the knowledge of the characteristics of a Danish man, it’s safe to say that you can expect to have the skill to steer the relationship without thinking that your partner is unfeeling, uncaring, and cold.
Some traits are inherently in their nature. When you encourage them to do what you want without much drama and fanfare; they are usually willing to give in. Just don’t push too far at once. Easy does it.
Little by little and he might develop a liking to what you want – but don’t count on it! Enjoy his company and let him be. He may be speaking affection in a language different than what you are used to.
That being said, here are some things you can do to “alleviate” your dating situation with a Danish guy.
1. Connections Count
If you have your eye on a Danish guy, forge a connection with his circle as they are not particularly fond of strangers. Common friends are a plus. Take your time to build a relationship if you want something serious.
Or just head online on a website like International Cupid where you will have better chances of meeting your partner or next date. This is a premium service where you won’t find any time-wasters. Plus, it’s the way Danes do it!
2. Don’t be Shy – Express your Attraction
Danish men are no strangers to women taking the initiative. If you like him, don’t wait for him to take the first step. Do it yourself and they will appreciate it.
Just make sure to stay away from setting dates in the workplace or being too enthusiastic in inviting him.
3. Keep it Simple and Appropriate
Save your efforts in going overboard with primping. Have a no-fuss look that’s easy on the eyes. You will not impress your date with how gussied-up you are on the first date.
4. Don’t Be Tardy
Never be late or overly early. Period.
5. Mean What You Say
If you want anything reasonable, just be direct and ask for help if you need it. Danish men are very capable and will come to your aid WHEN ASKED.
Don’t volunteer exuberantly and mutter and fret if they grab a cup of coffee and sit around while you change the spare tire that you offer to do.
Keep your word, no matter how small the promise. It will go a long way.
6. Be Knowledgeable, not Trivial
Your Danish date will be more impressed with a sensible knowledge of topics that interest both of you than trivial talk and physical attractiveness.
7. Easy on the Jealousy
Danes are known to be amicable with each other so don’t be overly jealous when they keep in touch with exes. Most of them are still pretty much faithful and won’t cheat.
Most of them…
8. When Brought into the Fold, Show Appreciation
If you have crossed the bridge and are welcomed into a Danish man’s home, show your appreciation as this is a big step for them in relationships. (of course, we’re not talking about a hook-up that ends up in the bedroom after the first night)
9. Take Your Time
When dating a Danish guy, don’t expect too much too soon. The likelihood of whirlwind relationships is very, very low; so, don’t count on that.
The language of Danish men’s affection may vary from what most women have come to expect in dating and relationships.
But with knowledge and understanding, meaningful relationships and mutual enjoyment are indeed possible despite differences in culture.
I hope that you found this article helpful and now you have a better understanding of the dating life in Denmark and what it’s like to be with a Danish man.
Editor’s note: This article was written by my good friend Mary, who spent the past 7 years exploring and enjoying living in Denmark, Sweden and Norway and during this time she had the opportunity to test, first-hand, how the men in this area are.