Japan is not a country that draws in a ton of tourists interested in mingling up with the local girls only. At least not like Thailand, Indonesia or the other South East Asian countries do.
This is due to a multitude of factors, from how cheap the SEA countries are for Westerners to how happy the women are to be with foreigners and much more.
But today I’m not here to talk about differences. Today, I’m here to tell you everything you need to know about Japanese women.
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Since Japan is not an extremely popular game destination, there is a gap in the dating literature regarding Japanese women in the land of the rising sun. I’m here to right the wrongs.
Nonetheless, a few things are clear:
- Western guys travel to Japan or meet Japanese women.
- There isn’t a lot of concise and clear game intel for western men visiting Japan.
This humble guide aims to shed some light onto the seemingly uncrackable mysteries of seducing Japanese gals.
It is the result of putting together the experiences and opinions of seduction veterans who have conquered eastern lands and made it back in one piece.
Now of course, your experience dating in Japan may vary depending on many things, such as how long you’re staying in the country for, your level of Japanese and how tough your skin is when facing rejections.
Having clarified that, let’s get straight to the point of this article:
Japanese Women: Physical Attributes
Surely, you can already picture a typical Japanese girl in your head – but the truth is that Japanese women come in all shapes (and sizes).
Since we are only concerned about attractive Japanese women however, most stereotypes will hold true: desirable girls will have a slim figure and be on the short side.
Generally speaking, it will be hard to find Japanese women with huge boobs and/or a big ass. But they are still pretty and fortunately not every person on this globe considers the previously mentioned features must-haves.
Despite being described as ‘yellow’, the truth is that most Japanese women have rather pale skin – with the exception of girls coming from Okinawa and similar areas, who tend to look half-Asian/ half-Hawaiian.
The average Japanese girl takes care of her skin and spends quite a bit on creams and lotions.
A lot of them also avoid getting tanned so seeing women carrying umbrellas in the middle of the summer is not strange.
They really value their paleness of the skin and will go a long way to protect that. I can’t really say that this is a pro or a con, just a thing to have in mind regarding their appearance.
The most commonplace criticism regarding Japanese women is that they tend to have pretty bad teeth on average, and all parties interviewed agreed that fixing this aspect would greatly improve the appearance of Japanese girls in general.
As a side note, it’s interesting that Japanese men tend to dislike girls with slim, Asian eyes – while they go crazy for women who have small faces and bigger eyes.
This has resulted in many women traveling to nearby South Korea to get affordable plastic surgery and make their eyes look wider. I personally blame anime for this.
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Japanese Women: Personality
Japanese women have always been considered the epitome of femininity in Asia, but as noted by many guys who have encountered them in recent years, this is increasingly changing.
For starters, this perception of Japanese women being super feminine has been rather inaccurate: while it is true they are very passive and conceited (both of them attributes of very feminine women), that’s not all there is to it.
On average, it will be easy to put the Japanese women you mean into one of three categories:
Category A: Highly educated career women from middle or upper class families. They tend to have rather basic hobbies such as shopping or going to the movies – mainly because their life revolves around their careers (this is especially true of women who finish university and join a classic Japanese corporation).
They can be naturally quite attractive, but you can tell that’s not their priority because they dress in plain office style clothes, avoid the gym and don’t make much use of makeup.
They will generally speak better English than the average Japanese person, though that doesn’t mean she’ll be fluent. They’re not really interested in dating and focus more on their career, so it’s pretty difficult to have success with them.
Category B: Women in this category are those popular girls who have been attractive since their teens and decided to capitalize on good looks early and skip college in favor of pursuing a career in modeling, fashion, nightlife, hostess, entertainment.
They generally lack interest in foreign things or people and their English will be basic at best. In addition to the language and social barriers, you can expect a painful seduction process due to their high social intelligence.
Category C: The remaining girls, those who don’t stand out because they don’t have the looks and didn’t make studying a priority.
These will be the girls who end up working as cashiers, waitresses etc. As a side note, don’t confuse them with younger students who work in such places as a part time job (arubaito).
It goes without saying that most foreigners have access to women in the A and C category, while very few will get a shot at B category women.
In a nutshell: expect to find quite ‘modern minded’ yet passive and very indirect women who (at least in major cities) care a lot about their careers and seem to have little patience regarding the dating and mating dance.
Also, starting a family is not their main concern anymore and, generally speaking, relationships in Japan are much harder to maintain (or even start) than in other countries.
Dating Japanese Women: What It’s Like
That being said, Japanese women are not close minded by any means, nor are they completely oblivious to pre-marital relations.
As a veteran expert in Japan said: life moves fast and furious in huge metropolises like Tokyo, and both men and women go on dates with new people at a very fast pace – often ending up with a visit to either’s place for even more fun.
From the stories and anecdotes I’ve heard from veterans in Japan, a lot of western men go there with the deluded idea that all Japanese men are herbivore shut-ins who stay in their rooms playing online games and watching anime while eating instant ramen.
Nothing farther from reality, although of course women who fit that stereotype do exist.
What you can do in Japan however is find your niche as a cool foreigner of high value who understands their world (unlike the hordes of beta guys who believe all there is to Japan is anime and cosplay). This strategy is the one that will pay the most dividends in the form of warm company and more.
Counter-Intuitive Dating Advice for Japan & Japanese Girls
Since Japanese society is very different from Western ones, it is only logical that a lot of the advice and material that will help get you a date in the west will backfire with Japanese women.
Here’s a short list of do’s and don’ts when it comes to seducing Japanese women:
- Spend a long time with women on dates, or across many dates. They’ll disappear.
- Try to stop them on their tracks when daygaming.
- Wait until last call in a club to pull the trigger.
- Be cocky-funny and bomb the girl with banter.
- Escalate physically from the beginning.
- Sexualize the conversation or date.
- Aim to have “fun” as soon as possible, without making a big fuss out of it.
- Walk with the girl when you approach her in the street.
- Spend your time in a club actively talking to people and befriending them, then stick to the girl who likes you the most and suggest a change of venue.
- Enjoy simple conversations and the company of the women without being too witty.
- Avoid heavy physical touch in public – such culture does not exist in Japan and the girl will get defensive. Once you’re alone with the girl, feel free to lay your hands anywhere you can.
- Even though it’s been mentioned that Japanese girls are not waiting for marriage, they’re not used to talking about “it” and will find it weird if you do.
Where to Meet Japanese Women
As in any other place in the world, there are a few avenues to choose from when hunting for Japanese girls. Not as easy as girls in Thailand or Indonesia, but still doable.
Depending on your skill set, available time in the country, personality and other factors you will fare better in some than in others.
As a society that’s addicted to gadgets and tech, it doesn’t come as a surprise that there are lots of options for dating online in Japan. And this is the best way for a foreigner to meet Japanese women.
You see, when they decide to create an account on a dating website, they automatically tick the invisible box – “Are you interesting in dating?” In other words, you know for sure that those ladies are actively looking for a partner.
Japan Cupid is a fantastic option if you want a premium service that comes with lots of advantages. This is my go-to place and the top recommendation.
You pay a premium (which is not a lot) but you get great quality in return. Best deal you can get and you will surely meet at least a few interested ladies.
Tinder, Happn, Skout, Gyaruru, Pairs or Omiai are all valid options, although you’ll probably have more success (and faster!) with Japan Cupid.
Classic Night Game
If going out at night is your thing and you’re hitting a major Japanese city such as Tokyo or Kyoto you will instantly realize there is a lot of stuff going on after dusk.
Whether you choose to venture into Japanese clubs or you’re more of a bar type of guy, all the received intel gives a standout advice: be social.
You know how we all think Japanese people take their jobs way too seriously and live their lives under a lot of stress?
Well, bars, karaokes and clubs are where they escape towards in a futile attempt to forget about their lifestyle.
The best course of action is to get into social mode as soon as you arrive into one. Depending on your level of proficiency with the language, you can attempt to make a funny comment when you order and build some good vibes with the bartender and the people closest up to you.
If there are women sitting by themselves (though they’ll be the older ones) you can simply introduce yourself and have a light conversation before you try to bounce them to a different location or get their number.
For groups, once again you can just make a light hearted comment and rub shoulders with whoever in the group responds better to you – until you gain his/her trust and they are in a position to vouch for you with the rest of the group.
When it comes to bars, there just isn’t a huge scene, but HUB is one of the most recommended ones. It’s quite well-known for being a foreign bar where Japanese people go as well – especially those interested in meeting foreigners..
For clubs, they will obviously be more difficult and inaccessible. The easiest clubs in Tokyo are located around Roppongi and Azabu,while the hardest ones are in Shibuya. If you’re an older player and/or prefer older ladies, Ginza is your hood.
Daygame in Japan
Daygame is a surprisingly good way to meet girls in Japan for a variety of reasons (and working under the assumption you’re in a city and did not end up in a 2000 inhabitant small Hokkaido town).
First of all, there is a precedent of daygame in Japanese culture, popularly referred to as Nanpa.
Secondly, in a city such as Tokyo where people go on with their days barely paying attention to their surroundings, the only ones caring about your approaches will be those girls you decide to hit up.
People around you simply won’t give a damn – that’s always a positive especially for guys who still suffer from approach anxiety.
Generally speaking, girls will either reject you very quickly (they’re either genuine busy or not interested, so it would be silly to re-open them) or love your approach.
Instead of going for the hard front stop made popular by European daygamers, walk alongside them and build good comfort by speaking either a bit of Japanese or extremely slow English. As always, remember you’re in public in Japan, which means minimal or no touching.
An instant date will usually not be on the books because most women will be going around with their days, but if you put in the work it should be easy to get the contact info (Line is king in Japan) of a handful of girls without having to grind out the streets for 8 hour shifts.
That concludes this article about Japanese women. Any comments or questions? Leave them below…