Love on the road

Indonesian Girls Guide: My Personal Experience (And Tips)

Indonesian girls are a topic near and dear to my heart. After traveling and meeting chicks throughout the country for months on end, I found myself dating an absolutely stunning and sweet girl.

While the relationship only lasted a few months, it was a special time. We were able to explore her unique country together, and I got a taste of authentic Indonesian culture.

It’s a time I’ll never forget. This proves that even if you are a “player,” Cupid or Lady Love or whatever can strike at any time. And Indonesian ladies are so special overall that you can easily fall in love with them without realizing. And that’s great!

The best thing about this tale is times like these are available to every “bule” – or foreign guy visiting Indonesia.

If you’re a western man looking to check out this country, then I promise you that’ll you can meet some fine Indonesian girls. You just have to heed a little of my advice and take action.

Definition of “Bule” – A word commonly used to describe any foreigner of European descent, aka any white person. The literal translation of the word means Albino. While some expats take offensive to the word, I don’t think you should in most contexts. It’s like Gringo in Latin America. 

What are Indonesian Girls Like?

So let’s dive into to the topic at hand. You want to know about Indonesian girls. Maybe you’re planning a trip to Bali or an excursion to Jakarta for some partying.

No matter why you’re going to these islands, there’s one thing for sure – girls in Indonesia are on your mind. They certainly were on mine!

happy Indonesian woman

And why did I have so much interest in women in Indonesia?

Because they’re stunning Asian women who look really good. You’ll find girls in the country to have lighter Asian skin than some other neighboring countries.

You can also find darker Asian chicks, too. Typically, the higher class girls in Jakarta will be lighter, and the darker girls are often poorer and from smaller cities.

The women in Indonesia are average height for Asian girls. You can find tall, model type chicks in Jakarta, but most of the women in the country won’t look like this. However, there was one thing about girls in this country that I loved…

Indonesia girls have curves!

Unlike some other Asian countries, the women here often have curves. I found Indonesians to be some of the “thickest” Asian girls throughout Southeast Asia.

I found cute, petite girls in Jakarta with bubble butts and jiggly breasts. It was heaven on earth!

If you’re a man who enjoys ample breasts and ass, then Indonesia might be a great Asian country for you.

Sure, the girls aren’t as thick as many Latin or Central European countries, but it is as close as Asia can get.

Apart from the physical side of things, Indonesian women offer a lot in the personality department.

Many girls in the country are incredibly feminine and submissive to their man. If you haven’t explored Asia a lot, you may be surprised how well you get on with this sweet, caring girls.

This doesn’t mean that they are not strong willed and independent women. It’s just a different, cultural thing here and they simply have a different way of dealing with a relationship than your regular Western women do. I really liked it and I am sure you will too!

I wrote more about the girls in Indonesia and how they look and act here: 7 Interesting Observations About Indonesian Girls

How to Date Indonesian Girls

Now that you understand a little about women in Indonesia, let’s talk a little about how to meet, date, and get in a relationship with these beautiful ladies.

beautiful Indonesian woman

The strategy I lay out below is 100% full-proof. If you follow what I say and have any experiencing with women, then you will meet some fine Indonesian girls and have great success with them.

I guarantee it!

So let’s get started. You’ll want to take a three-pronged approach to meeting women in the country until you get settled in.

Once you find your niche, you can decide if you’ll use online, night, or day game. Until then, you’ll want to use them all.

The type of game you use to meet Indonesian women also depends on the city you’re in.

Jakarta and Bali can be different animals, especially when day game is the concern. I’ll try to break things down regarding each facet of the game and what cities it’ll work well in.

*Pro-Tip: In general, Bali is a whole different animal than the rest of Indonesia. You can mimic the game you run in Jakarta in pretty much any other Indonesian city and get solid results.

Online Dating in Indonesia

I wrote a full post about the best online dating sites in Indonesia. It’s a must read before going to the country. I also reviewed Indonesian Cupid, as many men have had success using the site, myself included.

But for simplicity sake, let’s give a quick overview of the sites to use and what to do here.

No matter what Indonesian city you’re in, you’ll want to use two online dating sites. The two best online dating sites in Indonesia are:

I recommend every man visiting the country hoping to date Indonesian girls have active accounts on both.

You’ll give yourself the absolute best chance at meeting girls throughout the country with these two apps. Especially Indonesian Cupid, which is a premium one and has less male competition. It’s a true gem!

When messaging the girls on these sites, you should remember a few things:

  • Keep it simple: Many girls in Indonesia only have a basic grasp of English. Don’t send messages laced with double meanings and sarcasm. You’ll either confuse them or come off as an ass.
  • Get her off the site or app quickly: You want to get her number and start talking in Line or WhatsApp as soon as possible. Once you’re off the site, the game changes and she’ll start daydreaming of meeting the “bule” of her dreams.
  • Numbers game: These girls adore foreign men, but it’s still a numbers game. Put together a go-to first message and spam it out to every girl you see that’s attractive or that you match with.
  • Perfect pictures: Your photos will matter in Indonesia while using online dating. Make sure you have photos showing two things: you dressed to the “nines” in a suit and something that shows your body (if you’re in good shape). These photos exude masculinity – which can be lacking in the country. Women in Indonesia, especially Jakarta girls, go crazy for a masculine guy.

Day Game in Indonesia

Surabaya Indonesia city guide

Day game in Indonesia is where things get a little different. The type of game you’ll run on Jakarta girls will often be different than that you’ll run on Bali girls during the day.

And day gaming in other cities can be tedious due to English levels. Still, there’s no reason not to approach in this country. You’re bound to get some great results. Alright, so let’s dive in:

Malls on Malls

The absolute best places to meet Indonesian women during the day are malls, especially in Jakarta and other cities not named Bali.

There are dozens of malls in Jakarta, and you’ll receive a lot of attention if you’re a white person walking through them.

In Jakarta, I’d recommend day gaming at these malls:

  • Grand Indonesia
  • Plaza Indonesia
  • Thamrin City
  • Central Park Mall

Shy Indonesian Girls

Many girls will be shy when you approach them during the day. They may even look scared or turned off that you’re talking to them.

If a white girl acted this way, you’d know the approach was a problem. However, in Indonesia, this is not the case. There’s a reason these girls don’t seem interested at first.

Often, the girl is either crazy shy around “bule” because she hasn’t met many or she simply is nervous about practicing her English with someone she doesn’t know yet.

Some guys get around this by just giving their number to a girl on a piece of paper. I always just cut the conversation short if she seems shy and ask for their number. Either way can work.

Drop the Pick-up Lines!

In Indonesia, you don’t need to do any dumb things like “Neg” a girl or be overly cocky.

Just be a normal guy who finds her attractive and wants to get her phone number. Don’t give “bule” a bad name by spam approaching and acting like an idiot. Be respectful of the culture, but still pursue any girl you desire.

The above day game tips in Indonesia work quite well in Jakarta and other cities in the country. In Bali, things can be a little different. Most Balinese girls are used to foreign guys.

Thus, you’ll have to be a little more playful and confident when approaching in Bali. You’ll also have to find other locations to approach than the malls.

While you can meet Balinese girls working in shops in the malls, I didn’t want to spend my time indoors while at the beach.

So I started doing some beach day game in Bali. While I didn’t meet many Balinese chicks on the beach in Bali, I did have some success with other traveler chicks.

My best tip here: look for any girl alone at the beach. A girl traveling alone on the beach in Bali is essentially a jackpot.

P.S: Most guys find the best luck on Indonesian Cupid, I have to say that over and over again. Start browsing girls by clicking here.

Night Game in Indonesia 

Nightlife is certainly where Indonesia shines compared to other Asian countries. While the clubs and discos aren’t as lewd as Thailand, they offer something else – a high-end scene that’s not only incredible but fairly affordable. This is particularly the case in Jakarta.

Now, I have covered nightlife in both Jakarta and Bali in the city guides I wrote. If you’re looking for specific club recommendations, then check them out:

Jakarta / Bali

Below I wanted to give you a few tips regarding nightlife in these cities. By following this advice, you’ll make the most of your time going out.

Jakarta Nightlife Tips

  • Dress Well: You’ll be hitting high-end nightlife in Jakarta. This isn’t a backpacker or student scene. As such, you’ll need to dress like a professional. Jeans, a button down, blazer, and dress shoes should be the minimum here. A suit works just as well.
  • Get a Bottle: You’ll always want to get bottle service in Jakarta if you can afford it. A group of 2-5 “bule” with their own bottle and VIP booth at the club will be a hot ticket. Luckily, this can be cheaper than you think.
  • Stay Near Grand Indonesia: Logistics can be crucial in getting one night stands with Indonesian girls. As such, you’ll need to have a bachelor pad in the best, central area of the city. I recommend near Grand Indonesia and Thamrin Plaza.
  • Be Prepared to Stay Out Late: Nightlife in Jakarta can go until the wee hours of the morning. If you’re going for a big night out, I’d plan to be out until 4-7 in the morning.
  • Any Girls Without Guys are Available: Indonesian women at nightclubs love to be approached by foreign guys, as long as they aren’t there with their boyfriends. Any groups of girls out for a “girls night” are fair game. These types of groups are a jackpot in Jakarta.
  • Watch Out For Pros: There are working girls in Jakarta, especially at certain bars. Certain venues are more prone to this than others. Use the recommendations in my city guide to start and do some research. It can be difficult, as many girls in Indonesia will be so into you from the outset that they can seem like working ladies. Often, they are not. They just love foreigners, which are exotic to them.

Bali Nightlife Tips

  • Stay in Seminyak: I’d recommend staying in Seminyak if you love nightlife in Bali. My favorite venues were in the area, and it’s a short ways away from Skygarden and Kuta. Your logistics will be ideal, and the best clubs in Bali may be walkable.
  • Be Aggressive: Bali is filled to the brims with single travelers out at night. From expats to backpackers to yoga enthusiast to Balinese girls to Jakarta girls on holiday – there are a lot of people out looking for fun and debauchery. As such, you’ll need to ramp up the aggression in Bali compared to Jakarta. You won’t be the only “bule” around, so you have to act fast and be confident.
  • Adapt to the Environment: There are a lot of different nightlife scenes in Bali. You’ll have to adjust to each one. You don’t want to be the guy in a blazer while every Bogan in Skygarden is wearing flips flops and a tank top. Still, you’ll want to dress a step above that no matter where you go.
  • Physique Helps: Bali is a beach city. Being in great shape can help you immensely with the women here. If you’re jacked, don’t be afraid to show off a bit when going out. A tightly fitting V-neck could offer enormous benefits here over a button down.
  • Watch Out For Pros: Bali is a tourist spot, so you’ll need to look out for working girls. Luckily, it’s relatively easy to tell if she’s a pro or not in Bali. I’ve even had to ask a few girls, which can be tricky. But you don’t want to spend your whole night with a pro that you thought was a normal chick.

Best Cities to Meet Women in Indonesia

Indonesia is a vast country of nearly 250 million people. There are some great cities to meet girls here.

However, population isn’t the only factor that comes into play. Once you get outside of the major cities, a few things come into play.

First, the levels of English drop dramatically. This makes dating Indo chicks a lot more difficult.

While learning a little Bahasa can be fun, I don’t fully recommend it unless you’re an expat living in the country. The language is only useful in Indonesia and doesn’t have a lot of value from a business perspective.

Next, many Indonesian girls in small towns have never even dreamed of dating a “bule” before.

While it’s standard practice for Jakarta girls to date an exotic man, a girl from a small city in the country may be too intimidated to even practice her English with you – much less make love.

As such, we recommend guys start in Jakarta or Bali, especially if they’re digital nomads.

If you’re looking for more information on cities in Indonesia that are ideal for dating, then check these posts out:

Jakarta Vs. Bali

So, how do you decide whether to go to Jakarta or Bali first? Well, I found both cities to be incredible for lifestyle and dating.

Jakarta has some of the best nightlife in the world and stunning women. Bali is fantastic for beach life, and the Balinese girls quickly grew on me. Plus, if you really want to, you have access to lots of foreigners in Bali, as a bonus.

If you want to know more about the two cities, then check these posts out:

Worrying about Indonesian Girls Who Are Muslim?

muslim indonesian woman

Let’s not hem and haw here. Many travelers have concerns about a certain aspect of Indonesian culture, especially when it comes to dating Indonesian women.

So let’s get one thing straight: Indonesia is a Muslim country.

In fact, Indonesia is the largest Muslim country in the whole world! Yeah, you read that right. Around 13% of the world’s Muslim population lives in Indonesia.

Now, this may deter some men from visiting this country. It almost scared me off at first. Then I started to do a little research.

While Indonesia is Muslim and the religion certainly affects life in the country, most Indonesian girls don’t adhere to a strict form of Islam.

In fact, only a third or so of the women in the country even wear a Jilbab (the Muslim-head-scarf-thing). Even the girls that do wear these are not necessarily adherent to their religion. Many times it’s more to please the older generation.

I can confidently say that guys living or spending time in Jakarta or Bali won’t have too much to worry about.

While there are Muslim girls in Jakarta, most of the girls online and out at nightclubs will be quite liberal and have a relatively good grasp on Western ideals and ideas.

At the same time, experiencing new cultures and understanding & respecting them is part of the game and I recommend you to try to get to know them better from this perspective also.

It’s why we are on this earth, in the end: for new experiences and to learn new things constantly.

Dating Indonesian Women: Tips & Tricks

dating Indonesian woman

Alright, so know you know how to meet women in Indonesia. What about dating Indonesian girls? Don’t worry! I got you there, too.

As you start to date, understand, know, and mate with girls in this country, you’ll begin to realize a few things:

The Perfect Date

While drinking dates are common around the world, the women in Indonesia don’t drink as much as other gals, especially the religious ones or the girls you meet during the day.

As such, you may be going on more coffee dates than you’re used to. My rule of thumb was if I met her during the day or she seemed reserved online, then I would take her for coffee instead of drinks.

Then I could gauge whether she drank or not.

If I met her at the club or online and she seemed liberal, then I’d go for drinks like normal.

Luckily, it didn’t matter what type of date you went on. If she liked you, then she would be with you no matter what. Alcohol wasn’t needed half the time.

Fun Loving

One of the best things about liberal Indonesian women in Jakarta and Bali was how much they loved to have fun.

I’ve yet to meet women in other countries who actually enjoyed letting their hair down and getting wild as much as these girls.

Treat Girls Well

There are girls who hunt “bule” in Jakarta. They probably have at least a couple dozen expats numbers in their phones. They have been around the block, and you won’t be their first or last foreign guy.

However, most Indonesian girls are not like this.

They’re romantic, fun loving, friendly, and feminine girls with ideals and dreams. She may fall in love with you quite quickly, especially if you go on 3-5 dates together and show her some respect. This is especially true if you are her first “bule” and even more so if things get a bit more serious fast.

If you find yourself in this situation, try to treat her well. These are special girls, and you don’t want a sweetheart of an Indo girl becoming like all the other liberalized girls in Bali and Jakarta.

It can be fun being a lady’s man in Asia, but remember that not all of these girls have been around the block. They have genuine emotions, too – don’t ruin it!@

Wrapping Up

If you couldn’t already tell, I’m a pretty big fan of Indonesian girls. The women in Jakarta, Bali, and a few other cities treated me quite well. And I tried to return the favor, especially when I had my longer term Indonesian girlfriend.

For “bule” guys across the world, Nomad Not Mad wholeheartedly recommends a trip to Indonesia. The combination of Jakarta and Bali is nearly impossible to beat, and the women in Indonesia are some of the nicest in all of Southeast Asia.

Get to Indonesia now before the country becomes the next Thailand. Use the information above to ensure you meet some nice girls while you’re here and have fun

P.S: Don’t forget to click here and browse the ladies on Indonesian Cupid!

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Calin Ciabai

Living a location-independent lifestyle since 2008, I love to create content and manage websites. I write mainly about travel, video games, and health, but also other passions of mine. On Nomad Not Mad, I'm sharing all the knowledge I have gathered over all these years of traveling the world, the highs and lows, the beautiful places I visited, and all the disappointing ones as well.

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One Comment

  1. Indonesian girls are very crafty. They will play you for every nickel you’re worth. They are as beautiful and feminine as they are shameless.

    Of course, that’s true of the males, too. And I’m not talking about anyone from Bali or Jakarta. I’m talking about Indonesians in Central Java and Eastern Java.

    And not Muslims exclusively. You pay for everything you get.

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