Dating Chinese Women: Everything You Need to Know

Are you thinking of dating Chinese women? I have a full guide for you below, so you know exactly what to expect, but also what you must keep in mind when reaching out to these ladies. 

China is now considered a powerhouse in almost every industry it gets involved in. From politics to economics, you will definitely see a Chinese footprint on it. 

When it comes to its people, Chinese women are also getting some attention. They are considered one of the most beautiful faces in the world because of their porcelain skin and doll-like image that puts them at par with their Asian neighbors. 

Not to mention the fact that their population is so large that you… well… have plenty of options and even though as a foreigner you don’t have the advantage you normally have in other countries in the area (like in Vietnam or in Indonesia), you’ll still be exotic enough for plenty of the ladies here.

But don’t expect them to simply jump in your arms because you’re from the West. On the contrary, many won’t do it exactly for this reason.

There are a lot of factors that you need to know before you start dating a Chinese girl, and I’m here to prepare you for that. So – let’s begin!

China’s Dating Culture

beautiful Chinese woman in red dress

The dating culture in China has evolved throughout the years to basically make things complicated for you.

What I mean is that some women will strictly adhere to the old ways, while others are more open-minded and forward-thinking.

Although Western influences are now entering Chinese dating etiquette, there are families who are still practicing traditional dating cultures and you can’t really know for sure which side she’s on until you try.

I’m not saying that you have no chances if she’s on the more traditional side… but it won’t be easy. Here’s what I mean.

Matchmaking is still common when it comes to the customs of traditional families. Families might still use matchmakers to help their children find their partners. When there is a good match, the two families will then start the ‘Three Letters and the Six Etiquettes’ tradition which started in 1046 BC. 

The Three Letters involves the groom offering a Betrothal Letter to the family of the bride to start their engagement.

It is then followed by the Gift Letter which the couple will give to their families as it lists down everything they would want to make their marriage a success and finally the Wedding Letter which will be given to the bride’s family to confirm that the bride is accepted to the groom’s family. 

Meanwhile, the Six Etiquettes involves the proposal, birthday matching, exchange of betrothal and wedding gifts, selection of the perfect wedding date and the ceremony itself.

Some families do follow the guide of a matchmaker to make sure everything is done accordingly. Red is also used in the wedding ceremony because it symbolizes love, honor and fertility.

So… not necessarily the thing you were looking for. Most likely, you’re just interested in a more Western approach, which can still be found in China. Or if not, read my guide to Thai women, which are a lot more approachable by foreigners.

Modern Chinese Dating Culture

While some families practice traditional dating culture and remain conservative even in modern times China is slowly changing its dating culture.

Expect this to be mostly present in the younger generation (30 and younger, with exceptions on both sides) and we have the internet to thank, mostly, for the new approach to dating in China.

Online is the way to go!

Online dating is becoming more and more important – and the best place for you, as a foreigner, to meet a match without going through all the trouble of trying to figure out beforehand if she’s a traditionalist or not.

This is where my recommendation, China Love Cupid comes into play – this is the best place for you to try and find a date in China. Full of open-minded girls here, all of them modern thinkers and actively looking for a relationship. You can learn more about it by reading my China Love Cupid review.

They will take their time to get to know the people they meet in these platforms before meeting them in real life. So, even though it’s the easiest method, expect some massive “getting to know each other” first.

My experience is that Chinese girls – and I’m talking about the modern ones who are more open-minded – are pretty difficult to romance, similar to girls in South Korea or Japan – although these ladies are more difficult for other reasons.

Confession first!

Chinese people make it a point to get to know their love interest first before they confess their feelings.

If you will be the one doing the courting, you have to tell them your interest before you can say you are in a relationship. 

And I think it goes without saying that you should never “confess” that you only want to get her to bed and nothing more – probably you won’t be too successful with this approach, ha!

Courting Family

If you are dating a Chinese woman, you have to also court their family members. No, don’t get any wrong ideas!

Family is very important for the Chinese and if you really want them to like you, you have to get their families to like you too. That’s all – although not extremely easy, especially if they’re more on the traditional side and you… a foreigner.

Gifts are a Must!

When dating a Chinese woman, presents are a must if you want to woo them properly. Chinese dating culture points out that the more gifts you give your girl, the more they will know that you love them. 

Flaunt Your Relationship

It is also very common for Chinese women in a relationship to flaunt their status and it is considered an unspoken part of the dating culture in China. Couple shirts are very popular and photos of your dates will be on social media.


If you and your Chinese love are ready to tie the knot, you should both speak to the parents of your Chinese love to get their approval. Without it, you may find it hard to get married.                                                                    

What do Chinese Women look like?

artistic portrait of a beautiful Chinese woman

It is a common misconception for many people that Japanese and Chinese women look the same. Their physical appearance is very different, but you will always find natural beauty in both countries.

Chinese women have a rounder face with angled eyes. This makes them very easy to detect while in the crowd. Their facial expressions are always smiling or looking like they are smiling even if they are not necessarily happy. 

Chinese women are also very pale-toned and some might even undergo skin whitening treatments because of the current trends in beauty standards according to the younger Chinese girls. So do expect to have a hard time convincing them to join you for a day at the beach, under the sun.

Chinese women are also very strict with their beauty regimen, which keeps them both young-looking and appealing to people.

To enhance their features, Chinese women tend to use smoky makeup and red lipstick. They usually spend a lot on beauty products and they are following the latest beauty trends. This means that yes, you’ll have to wait a lot for them to be ready – but it’ll be worth it!

Finally, even within China, you will find that people from different regions have slightly different appearances. Women from Southern China can have a darker skin tone and are often smaller than those from Northern China.

Characteristics of Chinese Women

Now that we’re done with the looks, let’s talk about the personality traits of women from China!

First of all, they are some of the most practical women you will ever meet. They are very frugal with their money and will only spend if necessary.

Even when dating, she will probably tell you that you shouldn’t spend too much to take her out. Nice!

Chinese women are very loyal. It does not matter if you are dating someone who follows modern dating cultures or those who are strictly traditional. Chinese women will defend you and your family, especially if you are mistreated by other people. You will be surprised at how far they will go just to protect you. 

Like their fellow Asian counterparts, Chinese women actually age really well. The reason for this is the fact they are very health conscious.

They keep in shape thanks to their unique lifestyle and they also eat healthy food more often. They also keep up with their skin regimen which keeps their skin young as ever. 

An important thing to have in mind though is that most speak no English at all. Even though English is an important part of China’s curriculum for many years, few know more than just a few words.

Most of those who are fluent in it are the younger generation thanks to the onset of social media. 

But, when you speak  to the older generation or if you are living outside the larger, more cosmopolitan cities like Shanghai, Beijing and others, you will have trouble finding any who speak English.

This is why my recommended dating website, China Love Cupid, is so good: you only get English-speaking Chinese women there, so you’ve got another problem solved!

Chinese women dating guide Pinterest Pin

What to Expect in Dating a Chinese Woman as a Foreigner?

Chinese women are very pragmatic when it comes to dating. For them, they want someone who doesn’t just love them, but also share the same ideals as they do.

This is the reason why they will check your background before your date can progress further. So make sure that you clean up your social media presence if needed – it could help you a lot!

Now, if you are dating a Chinese woman, don’t expect them to give you verbal cues like “I love you” or anything similar.

Chinese women are very action-oriented rather than talk-oriented. You may not like this part about them, but you will get used to it eventually. 

This also means that your Chinese partner will be direct, especially if they see something wrong. If your clothes are not fixed, they will make sure you know it.

Don’t take it personally though because they are only saying these things because they want to help you be the best that you can be. 

Dating a Chinese woman will definitely need some careful planning if you want to make it to work. 

Once you show that you did your homework, though, practice the traditions they follow, and ideally know their language, you will definitely impress them and get to their heart easily. Knowing the basics will also ensure that you don’t make any faux pas that will affect your relationship’s future. 

If you have additional comments and tips (or field reports) about dating Chinese women, let us all know by commenting below.

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