In the land of lederhorsen, beer and Oktoberfest, what should we expect when we date a German man?
Well, that’s exactly what we’re going to learn in today’s article, where I am sharing a full guide to understanding German men and what to expect from a relationship with one.
Within Germany, you might find a lot of regional characteristics and differences in lifestyle from city to city.
But there is also an underlying set of values and practices innate to German men that they bring in to their relationships and even though generalization won’t always make justice, it’s better than having nothing as a starting point.
Let’s take a closer look at these common traits and habits that will help us know what to expect when dating a man from Germany. And especially what to do to make sure that you can lure them in and make them forever yours.
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Characteristics of German Men
Let’s start by checking out some of their characteristics, because this outlines who they really are and, in the end, what to expect from them.
Straight to the Point
If you’re considering a German date, remember that they aren’t like the flirty French or the amorous Italian.
German men are straightforward, much like Swedish men or other Nordic ones – not into dancing and flirting around too much.
He might take things slowly, exploring your relationship one date at a time. You just have to trust that setting the next date means he is interested and not take that as him being cold.
Brutally Frank
By nature, Germans are honest to a fault. They don’t mean to offend you by calling out mistakes or checking on your style if they deem it unsuitable.
Don’t take it against yourself – they don’t mean any malice. Instead, sincerity is gauged by how authentic one is in a relationship.
His Word is Gold
One characteristic of German men is they don’t keep you guessing. When he says he would like to see you again – he does.
When he says he will call, he most definitely will. There won’t be any cat and mouse games in your relationship. But remember – he will expect the same from you.
To the Letter
German Men follow rules – whether it refers to laws, their social norms or expectations.
This results in certain predictability that can be endearing. You can learn to make this work for you – not that you would want to break any laws – right?
A Time for Everything
When it’s time for work, they are serious and focused. But! When It’s time for a holiday, you get to experience the fun side of your German man. You can be sure during times off work that he is all yours.
What It’s Like Dating a Man from Germany
I know that the characteristics presented above don’t make them seem like the most fun people to be around. But that is not necessarily true… so let’s see what to expect when in a relationship with a German man.
Start It with a Group Date
First dates usually happen within a group – either as part of friends out for a good time or double-triple dates.
As mentioned before, German guys rarely flirt and the group setting is where they are most comfortable.
Planning Counts
One thing you must expect when dating German guys is that dates are planned. They have to work it in a schedule and will ask you if a day works or not to hang out.
This has a two-fold meaning – it means they have a life. On the flip side, they expect you to have one, too. That’s why they respect your time enough to plan everything in advance.
Once in a while, you might get a spur-of-the-moment date – but don’t count on it.
You Know Where You Stand
When he keeps on asking you out, then you know you got him good. Your German date will never string you along and promise something without delivering.
On the other hand, when he says it’s over – trust me, it is. And if you want to know the reasons for any disagreements, make sure you have the stomach to hear the plain and simple truth.
Travel Treat
To German men – all work and no play makes one a dull boy. There’s a time to work and a time to play. These might sound like clichés but they are true.
Germans are notoriously hard workers but they are rewarded amply with holidays and mandatory vacations off from their work schedules.
They look forward to these times off and pre-plan trips. If you hit it off with him and he gets serious, you can count on being included in his holiday plans, no matter if it means a short trip to a nearby town in Germany, like the beautiful Munich, or something a bit more exotic, like Istanbul.
Reserved, Not Cold
German men have been stereotyped to be distant and cold. Don’t be fooled. Stick around and you will see the façade melt.
How do you know if a German guy is into you? He starts sharing his funny side, his opinions on controversial topics – understanding that you can take it and will share with him the same.
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Tips for Dating a Man from Germany
Now that you know about the characteristics of men here and what to expect when in a relationship with one, let’s talk about you for a moment and see some tips that will help you a lot.
1. Be Punctual. There’s no other greater turn off to the precise personality of the German man than a tardy date.
2. Be ready to go Dutch. It is common for dates to split the bill evenly in Germany. German girls (unlike those in Eastern Europe) do this and you will most likely be expected to do so.
3. Don’t Flaunt the Frills. Germans aren’t into the flashy and blingy style. Function, form, and chic appeal to them more.
Highlight your innate beauty instead. They don’t like too much make-up and being too meticulous with fashion – especially if it makes you late!
4. Grow a Thick Skin. If giving forthright comments is not in your culture, you have to get used to offhand comments they give about you, your gifts, a situation, or even your friends.
They don’t hide their opinions and as mentioned above, it’s not done with malice but at the same time, there might be occasions when you will feel a bit hurt or even offended.
5. Be Patient. Don’t badger him with insecurity. If he is steadily seeing you, it means that he likes you. Period & no need to ask yourself more questions.
Dating a German guy is like peeling layers off one by one before you get to the core. It might take them a while to open up.
6. Express yourself. Tell him what you like doing, how you like to spend your free time. German men are likely to ask you out on an activity based on a shared interest.
If you are unsure about finding common ground and want to try something together, tell him honestly. He will appreciate your frankness.
7. Respect his time. Similar to #4 but in this case, you need to know that a line is to be drawn when he is working. Don’t inundate him with messages – love or otherwise.
If it’s something important, leave a message and indicate that you would like him to get back to you as soon as he can. Call only when it’s an emergency.
8. Keep Your Promises. Lame excuses and forgetfulness will herald the end of your relationship with a German guy.
9. Appreciate his thought-out plans. There might be no flowers in between or love notes and texts, but if he asks you out – he has been meticulously thinking about the timing, the choice of activities. Cherish the time you have together.
10. Be Independent. – German men love a woman who has their lives together – productive and decisive. Don’t be clingy and needy – take example from the Nordics also, like the highly independent Danish women and be like them.
11. Don’t do Drama. If this sounds like a repeat, it’s because this cannot be stressed enough when dating a German guy. No loud arguments, raised voices, or scandalous encounters.
Take a deep breath and calm down. Calmly discuss points with him and be honest without being overly emotional. This gets the job done better.
12. Be ready for Freikoerperkultur. This means naturism or “free-body culture”, especially if you are in Germany. It doesn’t mean that your German man practices this but you might encounter people in parks who only have their hats on.
Wrapping up
While there are traits that are generally true among German men, you must remember that individuals have their own peculiarities and this is where communication comes into play.
It is very important not only to know how they think and act in general but to learn how your “one in a million” German man thinks and feels.
Learning to flexible in expectations will result in a better flowing relationship with a German man.
Know how to understand his way of thinking and adapt his thought process to yours. Compatibility is often made from happy compromises.
Once you’ve learned to appreciate his ways – and know that Oktoberfest actually begins in September, then you will have earned your Stein and Pretzels – plus your place on the Wiesn table beside him. Prost! (Cheers!)