Love on the road

How to Date in Asia as a Foreigner

Whether you’re a traveler or an expat, getting a date in Asia isn’t always easy – despite what everybody keeps saying.

The cultural shock gets even the best of us. Asia is enormous and very diverse. Even if you are Asian yourself, dating outside your own culture is challenging.

Of course, it is also lots of fun.

Asian girls are beautiful, smart, sophisticated, family-minded, open-minded… There are really all sorts of them. This is the guide to meeting yours: a complete guide on how to day in Asia as a foreigner.

It’s Not Black And White

beautiful Asian woman

Dating in Asia comes in a variety of experiences. Which is why the following is NOT true:

All Asian girls are either devils or saints.

My Ultimate Guide to Asian Women

I don’t blame you for thinking that. Even I used to believe it, too.

But, truthfully, the sweetest girl could turn out to be a professional, and the skankiest-looking could really be a saint.

When it comes to Asian chicks, here are some types you’ll meet. Depending on your preferences/ on what you are looking for, pick a type to stick with.

Goody-Goody Gals

These are the stereotypical, sweet, submissive Asian girls. They come from a decent family (usually middle class, not higher) and they want a decent family for themselves.

These Asian girls mature earlier. By their late 20’s, they are ready for a husband and kids.

Depending on the region, goody girls might also be very religious. In the Philippines, the Catholic church plays a major part in everyone’s life. Muslim girls in Indonesia are also often like that.

But being an innocent romantic doesn’t always have to do with faith. Usually, it’s just the way she was raised. That’s why being close to her family is the number one quality of nice girls in Asia.

Sweet Doesn’t Mean Grown-Up

Sure, good girls look for husbands early on. In many ways, they make the perfect wife. They are great in the kitchen, they genuinely care about you and about the relationship, and they’re thrilled to support you.

Just because they are mature in this respect, though, it doesn’t mean they’re completely adult.

Nice girls don’t stick around the dating scene for long. They don’t have a lot of experience. They are prone to getting codependent and clingy.

If you date in Asia, especially if you date stereotypical good girls, expect ultimatums. Childish behaviour like that comes directly from a lack of experience.

An older and wiser version of these women would know better. The fact remains, though, sweet and romantic girls are inexperienced and that’s why they act immature.

How To Score That Cutie

beautiful Indonesian woman

You have to be careful when you date the goody-goody. She is sensitive but not naive. If anything, good girls act overly suspicious of men. They don’t want to be taken advantage of.

You wouldn’t have much luck if you’re not looking for a relationship. Only seeking a hookup buddy? Skip ahead to the next section. It would never work between you and a good girl.

But if you’re still here, that means you want those sweet perks of an Asian girlfriend. The key to getting and keeping her is initiative.

That type of Asian girl is shy. She wouldn’t dare approach you, even if she likes you. A girl taking the first step is seen as immodest and completely unladylike. Go talk to her first!

When you do, be very respectful. The same goes for after you get together. Asian women are fun and playful.

When it comes to physical intimacy, though, to each her own boundaries. Don’t push a good girl to break them.

If she does, she’ll feel guilty and get clingy after (which is never good for a relationship). She most likely won’t go beyond her limits, though. That means you’ll be out of the picture faster than you realize.

And getting back to meeting her… well, there are always options, but I found that going the online dating route is the best. Fast, easy and straight to the point.

Depending on where you plan to go, make sure to do some research. Read about the best dating website in Thailand or my recommended dating sites in Indonesia.

The Perfect Date In Asia

You got the perfect girl. Here is a perfect Asian date:

First, remember that what is trivial to you, is cool to her. Asian girls like Western guys. They represent a different culture, full of fun things (that she’s mostly just seen at the movies).

Go full out by cooking her something from back home. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Even peanut butter and jelly are exotic to an Asian girl.

If you plan on cooking something from her culture, though… Just don’t. 10 out of 10 times you will look like a complete loser.

Karaoke is very popular in Asia. It could be fun for a first date but do expect her friends to show.

Yes, really. At the early stages, Asian women stick to group dates.

I remember my friend was so shocked when he discovered that. He got back and wouldn’t stop repeating Every third date in Asia is a group date, it’s insane.

I didn’t believe him.

But then I saw it for myself.

If you want to get some intimacy, you have to pick the location right. I personally love hookah bars. Apart from enjoying the hookah, I find them to be very sensual.

You can still sit by her, chat, smoke, you could even do the thing where you exchange the smoke. Best of all, all of her friends could still be there. She wins, you win!

Going back to the “what is normal for you is cool to her” theme, playing pool is another cool idea for a date in Asia.

I know, I know, you play pool with your guy friends, not with a date. But it is kind of perfect. You get to teach her and that involves getting close. It’s a perfect way to break the initial physical barrier.

Just beware not to make her feel uncomfortable. Good girls back down on that. Keep it innocent-looking and you’ll win her over in no time!

Crazy Rich Asians

beautiful Indonesian lady

Yes, these people actually exist. High-society girls are very Westernized and usually not interested in common with local men. They either date foreigners or fellow high-so guys.

These girls come from very wealthy families. They are well-educated, though they don’t really need to work and provide for themselves. Because they have been influenced by the West, they usually play by Western rules..

Crazy rich girls are great for casual hookups IF you manage to get around them and make them interested in yourself. They are open-minded and they know how to enjoy themselves.

Just be careful not to hurt her feelings. Some of the dads are very influential, while others are very dangerous. Let’s just say that not all criminals get caught. The last thing you want is to mess with a mafia boss’ daughter.

For that reason among others, I tend to avoid rich girls (that and the fact that I don’t have the money to hang out in the same places they do).

Most have a distinct sense of entitlement. I wouldn’t want to end up dead just because I didn’t give her what she wanted.

Date In Asia Or Do Business In Asia?

There are lots of “workers” in Asian countries, especially in SE Asia where many single males go with a single goal in mind.

They don’t care if they have to pay to get it or not – they just want IT. As a result, since there’s demand, offer is booming too.

The trouble with professionals is you never know if they are. A completely sweet and naive-looking girl could really be a scammer. That’s why, as a non-negotiable rule:

  • Never give money to strangers. That includes strangers you meet on the Internet and girls you meet at clubs. A nice girl would never ask for cash at the beginning of a relationship – if ever.
  • Watch out for women who don’t even suggest they pay for themselves. If she’s so used to guys paying, she is probably a professional.
  • Stay safe and remember that this is not dating, if you’re paying: it is a contract.

Finally, if you will be looking for that, stick to respectable places. It’s easy to differentiate between sleazy and decent. Trust me, you don’t want to get all cheap on this one.

The Ultimate Guide to Asian Women

Asian women are wildly popular with Western men. Whether it’s their exotic beauty, their sweet character, or all the stereotypes that surround them, these girls really don’t lack attention. The trouble is guys don’t know how to approach them.

If you’re not one of these guys, you can click away.

Still here?

I bet! You Googled tips on dating Asian women to land here, right? Welcome, this is your ultimate guide to doing just that!

When cultures clash, challenges are inevitable. Fortunately, you have us and we will prepare you as best we can!

What Are Asian Women Like?

Chinese woman beautiful

Let me tell what they’re not like.

They are not either devils or saints, no in-between. There is plenty in between! Cultures vary and Asia is huge. Still, there is one type that persists. The elusive good Asian girl is what most guys want.

It doesn’t matter if she’s from Vietnam or Indonesia or even Mongolia, here is how you recognize her:

Her House Is Clean And Beautifully Decorated

Asian women are pros at work-life balance. Even though they have careers, Asians prioritize creating a comfortable home.

Sure enough, they complain sometimes. In some parts, complaining is a national sport. But maintaining a beautiful home environment comes naturally.

Whether she lives with a roommate or her family, a “good Asian girl” makes it a point to help out at home.

Oh, and by the way, you will have to take off your shoes. Better make sure you’re wearing clean socks and that you use some sort of anti-odour smell.

There is no Asian girl that would have you dragging in dirt from the street but BO can ruin the romance faster than anything!

She Doesn’t Flirt Casually

Asian women tend to be more shy, and more introverted, than in Europe or the US. Dating and marriage are taken seriously.

After all, that’s what she saw in her own family. Asian girls wouldn’t even think of cheating – they consider it disrespectful to both their partner and themselves.

For that same reason, nice Asian girls aren’t very big flirts. They are looking for the one. Once they find him, it’s endgame. Sorry boys, no time for distractions.

She Is Devoted To The Relationship

vietnamese girl

Asian women are not all submissive hentai girls. They come in all shapes and sizes. But one thing is sure: an Asian girl truly commits to her relationships.

Some of these women could border on clingy. Trust me, it comes from a place of love.

Asian dating culture is a bit awkward at first. Neither girls, nor guys really know what they are doing.

There is a great VICE documentary on that . Basically, people are putting relationships and family on the back burner because they’re so difficult.

When an Asian girl does get a serious boyfriend, she appreciates how lucky both of them are.

There are hundreds of ways to celebrate the relationship – from cutesy love apps to wearing matching styles.

Love it or hate it, one thing is for sure – Asian women would value you as a partner and make a strong effort to sustain and grow the relationship.

She Wants Kids

Being childfree is fun, but in most Asian cultures it’s seen as a life wasted. Leaving a legacy through your children is deeply woven in the way people think.

Asian girls are rarely down for marriage without children. The natural progression of a relationship, they think, is that it goes on to become a marriage and a baby carriage.

Dating Life In Asia

Whether you’re travelling or relocating for the long run, a new culture would always come with surprises.

Consider yourself lucky to have the chance to explore. Also, try to meet some expats, they could guide you.

But when it comes to dating Asian girls in their native country, try not to act like “the foreigner”. I mean, don’t act more Asian than she is (we already covered that).

But simply relax and explore dating as you go. You would find so many similarities so there is no need to get hooked on the differences.

One thing I do find to be effective is… asking. Literally just asking a local what to do. Not everyone is comfortable discussing their personal life (or giving you tips on yours) but to be honest, most people are happy to help. It could even be a way to bond and make new friends.

And also ask her. Don’t tiptoe around your Asian girlfriend, always wondering if you’re doing something wrong. Simply ask her to tell you if something’s wrong.

And of course, 90% of the time she will not. Of course, she’ll pull the “You know what you did.” You will have fights.

But hey, all of this is ok, too. Relationships always involve some fights.

The bottom line is not to be intimidated. As the Romans said (centuries and centuries ago): I am human, I consider nothing human alien to me. Asian women are amazing but they don’t have to be tough to date. Relax and enjoy!

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Calin Ciabai

Living a location-independent lifestyle since 2008, I love to create content and manage websites. I write mainly about travel, video games, and health, but also other passions of mine. On Nomad Not Mad, I'm sharing all the knowledge I have gathered over all these years of traveling the world, the highs and lows, the beautiful places I visited, and all the disappointing ones as well.

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